Giving God Wider Access

Sin is an interesting thing.  There are many different kinds and levels of sin.  It is something all humans do, to some degree.  Sometimes we feel more sinful than other times, and that’s okay.

I remember talking to a spiritual director a few years back about this.  Usually we would end my session with the sacrament of Reconciliation.  One particular day, I wasn’t feeling particularly sinful, and was having trouble identifying my sins.  I guess everything seemed pretty much okay that day.

He shrugged his shoulders, smiled and said, “That’s okay, you’ll be back soon enough!”  

I thought it was pretty funny, because he was absolutely right.  There are some days that my sins are overwhelming to me, and other days when I barely recognize them (I try to enjoy those moments of grace.)

Now when I say that my sins are overwhelming, you might be inclined to assume that I have done something big, terrible even, but that’s not the case.  I find sins overwhelming in light of who I am called to be, not necessarily how horrible my sins are. 

The thing about sins that I have come to understand is this:  we focus on our every day sins, the ones we might consider little by degree—we gossip, judge, tell white lies, whatever, and it’s good to bore down on those if we are going to try to turn away from them, but in the end, I think we may be overlooking something that is likely of particular interest to God. 

The collection of “smaller” sins do bring us harm, as they can become habitual and lead us down the wrong path.  But when you step back and look at the bigger picture, the greater danger for us is not so much the “smaller” sins that God willingly forgives when we repent, but our not moving in relationship with him.

I think of it like this:  I am in a boat and it starts leaking.  As I start working on getting the water out, I am super-focused on the immediate problem. I may not realize that the leak could sink my boat, because I am focused on keeping my stuff dry.  So what do I do?  I try to figure out how to stop the leak.

Confessing our sins helps us stop the leak, the slow trickle of sin that comes into our life; it helps us plug the hole that is disturbing our peace by asking God for forgiveness.  That’s a good thing.

But, while I set about busily trying to take care of the everyday sins that leak into my life, I may not realize that God’s greatest desire is that we allow him free access to us.  He can work within and beyond our humanity to lead us down the path to holiness.   

God can work beyond our faults and failings, but it is important that we are careful not to withhold giving him wider access to our heart, mind and soul—outside the confessional as well as inside.

This does not mean our “everyday” sins are insignificant, of course, and Reconciliation is part of a process that reveals our willingness to cooperate with God, because in itself it brings us closer to God and restores our relationship with him.

I saw a father on television the other day whose daughter had been the victim of a killer.  He had been tasked with the terrible job of identifying her body and had first-hand knowledge of the horror that had been done to her. 

Clearly a man of faith, he said, “I am supposed to forgive . . ., but I’ve asked God, ‘Have mercy on my soul,’ because I cannot do it.’”

In his humanity, he recognized his inability to do what he thought he should do and he turned his pain over to God with a heartfelt plea for help.  Even in his deepest grief he knew that God was the one he needed, and he was banking on his promise of mercy, which goes beyond our humanity.

In that painful moment, as his daughter’s killer was being convicted, the father fully submitted himself to God. 

Not submitting to God’s love working beyond our human nature—not realizing all that he truly calls us to be in him—is problematic, for while we may be laser-focused on our daily sins, God is simply trying to keep us afloat in his love and mercy.

Janet Cassidy

Janetcassidy.com

Here is a version of a prayer from St. Ignatius of Loyola, which you may enjoy, if you are trying to give everything to God.  It’s title means “receive” in Latin: 

SUSCIPE

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,

my memory,my understanding, and my entire will,

all I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.

To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.

Give me only your love and your grace,

 that is enough for me.

Amen.

QUOTE (videos about St. Ignatius)


“There are very few men who realize what God would make of them if they abandoned themselves entirely to His hands, and let themselves be formed by His Grace.”   

St. Ignatius of Loyola