An upsetting phone call

 

 

I'm going to apologize in advance to those of you who consider the following remarks offensive. Please don't take them as me disrespecting you, it's just that, to my ear, referring to an individual with a plural pronoun doesn't work.

I had someone call the house the other day to ask about some supplies for our son.  The caller referred to him as "they."  At first I was confused and thought I heard her wrong, but when she did it again, I caught on, and asked her politely to refer to him as he.

I just can't handle an individual being referred to plurally. It's just poor grammar, that's all.

Well, I suppose, that's not really all there is to it.

I had a friend kindly explain to me a while back why she chose to use plural pronouns at her daughter's request.  She said she couldn't stand to cause her daughter more pain than she was already experiencing, so out of love and respect for her daughter, she acquiesced. 

Who wouldn't understand her reasoning?

According to Richard Budd, Director of the Office of Marriage and Family Life for the Diocese of Lansing, and co-author of the Diocese's January 15, 2021 guidelines:

“Gender dysphoria is a real psychological condition which causes real human suffering that has to be met with genuine compassion, rooted in truth and love, and accompanied by the highest standards of pastoral care.”

These guidelines, "Love, Truth & Authentic Happiness: A new policy on the Human Person and Gender Dysphoria" are very helpful.

While providing the "highest standard of care" we must reaffirm "the immutable realities of human anthropology--that we are created male and female."

There are those who proselytize "especially among the young, on behalf of false and harmful 'gender ideologies' . . . that male and female are merely social constructs."

In 2016, Pope Francis said that "the young need to be helped to accept their own body as it was created." (Amoris Laetitia)

Budd continues, “Informed by faith and reason, the Church teaches that our differences as male and female are part of God’s good design in creation, that our bodies – including our sexual identity – are gifts from God, and that we should accept and care for our bodies as they were created.”

"The Church teaches that the human person is a body-soul union, and the body — created male or female — is a constitutive and integral aspect of the human person and, as such, everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his or her God-given biological sex and the sexuality that corresponds with that gift – only in this way lies a path towards an integral, sustainable and happy life.”  

In 2023, the Diocese of Lansing lodged its formal opposition to a proposal by the Michigan Supreme Court "that would compel judges to refer to attorneys and litigants by their preferred personal pronouns, even when these conflict with a person’s biological sex."

The Diocese said:

"Disregarding the truth of biological sex is no kindness and threatens to impose falsehoods upon our judicial system and, thus, undermine the very purpose of its existence: the dispensing of justice, which can only occur in accordance with truth.”

Offering love and compassion is a necessary thing.  Shading the truth while doing so is not.  It may be hurtful when these collide, but compromising on the truth is never an option, as it ultimately causes the greatest harm.

Janet Cassidy
janetcassidy.com
https://www.facebook.com/reflectionsinfaith/
https://www.youtube.com/@janetcassidy

Shepherd YOUR flock!

 

Years ago I read some leadership advice that asked the question, "Who are you mentoring?"  It suggested you list the number of hours you spend on each of the tasks that you do, and be sure mentorship is high on the list.  

If you are not mentoring, you are not actually leading.

We've had a lot of readings lately about Jesus, the Good Shepherd, who leads his flock.  If anyone knew good leadership, it was Jesus. This got me to thinking . . .

Maybe we are not a shepherd on a hill somewhere, leading a flock, but as parents, we do have a flock of our own that we have been given--our children.  Even if they are adults now, our role as faith mentors still continues.

Now you may say that your adult children have lost their way.  This is all the more reason to see yourself as their shepherd.  Bishop Barron gave a SERMON last Sunday where he talked about the importance of a shepherd being attentive to his individual sheep.

Attentiveness doesn't mean controlling, or lecturing, but literally paying attention.

If a Bishop walks into a gathering of people, he must visit with people and find a way to connect with them.  If he doesn't, then he is not truly acting as a shepherd should.

Have you allowed a wayward adult child to settle into their life, where they live in a bubble that does not include you? 

It may be hard to break through the wall that has risen up between you, but ask yourself, "Have I allowed the distance in our relationship to become too comfortable?"

Have I lost hope that change is possible?

What's the STORY we have always heard about a shepherd going after the one lost sheep?  He'd leave the 99 to find the one.

Maybe a card, or kind words, or even a lunch together would be a way to reconstruct a relationship, where you could again guide your lost sheep.

As Bishop Robert Barron mentioned in his homily, the Ministry of Presence is so important.  It may be as simple as being present again to those who have become comfortable being apart from you and the fold.

How will they ever be led back, if you leave them trailing behind you,  lost in the crowd? 

Pray about it. Through Jesus, you, too, can become a good shepherd.

Janet Cassidy
janetcassidy.com
https://www.facebook.com/reflectionsinfaith/
https://www.youtube.com/@janetcassidy

 

 

 

The Pope Speaks

 

 

I've been reading "Pope Francis LIFE, My Story Through History."  It has taken me a bit to get into it, but the more I read, the more interesting it becomes. True to the title, his book weaves historical moments with his life experiences.

One of those historical moments was the Berlin Wall coming down.  He had this to say:

"But walls are not just physical: when we're not at peace with someone, a wall comes between us.  How beautiful the world would be if there were bridges instead of barriers . . . . Wherever there are walls . . . we see the proliferation of mafias, ,criminal behavior, dishonest scoundrels exploiting people's weakness and subjecting them to fear and loneliness. We are Christians! So we must love our neighbors unconditionally, without borders, without limits of any kind, going beyond the walls of selfishness and personal or national interests.  It is necessary to break the barriers of ideology, which amplify hate and intolerance." 

Challenging words?  Maybe, but who said Christianity would be easy?

Where in your own life do you need to open a border so as to become more selfless and loving?

Janet Cassidy
janetcassidy.com
https://www.facebook.com/reflectionsinfaith/
https://www.youtube.com/@janetcassidy