I was in the grocery store the other day, waiting in line at
the customer service counter to make a return when I overheard a conversation
between a store employee and a customer.
The customer had just asked an employee who did not work in customer service if they accepted utility bills
in that department. The employee said he
did not work in that area so he did not know, but proceeded to ask someone at
the customer service counter for him and got an answer.
The customer did not accept the employee’s reasoning as to
why he did not know if they accepted utility bills. In fact, as he wandered off, the customer
said, “It would take me about 5 minutes to learn that, if I worked here, then
if someone else asked about it, I would know.”
In other words, be willing to expand your knowledge of the
job in order to help people.
I understood what the customer was saying, but in defense of
the employee, I can also see how in a big retail grocery store, it would be
hard to know such things outside of one’s own department.
Regardless, the customer could not let it go and he wandered
off, re-stating his position and complaining within earshot of everyone around.
Then, the employee proceeded to tell another employee about
the situation and they had a discussion which, although I could not hear it
very well, ended in some cursing and complaining about the customer.
Oh my.
Interestingly, in the end, the customer wandered back over
where I was standing, and he was still
talking about it, but this time, I think he mumbled to no one in particular, some
sort of an apology, or an empathetic comment.
This conversation plays right into something I have been
thinking about lately. What makes anger
and impatience the reflexive response for some people while others seem to have
patience as a default mode?
If you are in the latter category, good for you. But for those of you who are in the former
group, let’s talk about it. You can
change. You really can, and the world will
be all the better for it.
Sometimes this kind of a response is ingrained in us. In that case, we may have a lifetime of
training to undo. Maybe our life experiences in general have given us a default
mode that reacts with indignation or cynicism. Or, maybe we were raised that way. (A friend
of mine has spent a lifetime trying not to be his dad—that’s a lot of work.)
Clearly, I’m not saying this is going to be easy, but with
some self-awareness, it can be done.
Does it seem like everyone’s an idiot lately? That nobody does anything right? That people
never do what they are supposed to do, or how YOU would do it?
Is this your default mode?
How do you get out of it? How do you change YOU?
Well, it begins with a little soul searching. Why do you respond the way you do? That’s an important question to explore.
Here’s a thought.
Maybe at the bottom of your behavior, after you have done an honest
self-analysis, you might discover that it is very simple: you did not get your own way.
Think about the last time you got mad. Was it because someone did not act like YOU
thought they should? That they did not
do it the way YOU would have?
What does that say
about your why?
It is possible that not everyone is actually an idiot, or
annoying, you know.
Maybe they just seem
annoying because they are not living up to your standards and expectations, a
ruler they may not even be aware of, let alone realize they are being measured
against.
Perhaps, rather than measuring others against our own
standards and expectations, which will be impossible for them to satisfy anyway,
we would be wise to look at our own words and actions and measure them against
Christ’s.
The quickest way to disarm our default behavior, if it is
not good and we want to change it, is to ask ourselves, “Are my words and
actions Christ-like?”
Janet Cassidy
Janetcassidy.com
Very interesting perspective. Since I've been retired, I've actually tried to be more conscientiously patient. I needn't be in a hurry and I needn't be impatient.... I have time. This past week test that to the limit... and I lost it. I didn't demean or degrade the people I was dealing with... but expressed anger at the lack of efficiency in the process. I had to speak to no less than 20 people in the course of 4 days to get medication approval and shipment for a lengthy vacation. My trip is for 132 days and the insurance would only approve 9o days. I didn't like it... but said I would deal with it... when the shipment came... it had only a 30 day supply. again, patiently, I called... every single time I had to repeat my name rank and serial # and repeat my story to a new person. I realize its the ineffectiveness of the company, not the employee... but in the end I finally exploded. At the end of it all... because the right hand doesn't know what the left is doing... I ended up with 120 days! I guess patience is a virtue... still learning!
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