The Art of Questioning

I tend to be a bit of a news junky, but in times like these I really have to protect myself from being overly saturated with information and limit my intake.

I really don’t have any interest when interviews move from providing me new information to an attempt to pry guests for opinions that slander other people.  It really doesn’t fool any of us.

What I get thrilled about, though, is when guests keep their decency and professionalism and ignore the bait.

I saw this recently, and the probing questions were so transparent, it was really sad.

Of course, we all over-inquire, to some extent.  Even in our daily lives, if we are honest.

Over the years I discovered that the agenda behind my own probing questions was not hidden at all.  Whether it was wanting to know what the kids were up to, or whether it was just curiosity, I found that my questions usually didn’t produce the desired result, regardless.

Unless a parent has a highly intuitive radar picking up subtle messages and great powers of deduction (some of us, do I must say), we may have to live not knowing some things.

For parents, though, I believe questioning isn’t necessarily a bad thing. For when you are trying to keep an eye out for the safety of your children, sometimes your Spidey Sense is all you have.  Most kids are never going to give it up freely, that’s for sure.

So when is it going too far?  At what age, at what point, should we step back with gritted teeth and let them live their own lives, make their own decisions, and have them accept their own consequences?

I think that creeps up on us and so sometimes we don’t realize that the time has arrived. 

I suspect it crept up on Mary and Joseph earlier than it does for most of us.

Today is the Solemnity of Saint Joseph, the husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  Joseph and Mary were responsible for Jesus on this earth.  Scripture tells us that on a trip back from Jerusalem from the feast of Passover, they lost sight of Jesus.  They thought he was in the caravan but he wasn’t, and after a day of not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem.

Scripture also tells us that “After three days they found him in the temple,
sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers.”

He was twelve years old.

Anxious that Jesus was missing, Mary and Joseph were astonished when they found him.  Naturally, they asked him the same question we might ask our own children:

“Son, why have you done this to us?”

His answer, though, is unlike any other:

“Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”

Jesus wasn’t being snarky.  He was just expressing that he was where God the Father needed him to be.  And while Mary and Joseph did not understand what he was talking about, they were no doubt happy that “He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them” as they would have expected he would.

It is for every parent to observe their children, ask appropriate questions, and decide when to give them some freedom to do what they must.  For most of us, hopefully, it will not come as early as twelve!

Joseph was a righteous man, a skilled carpenter, loving husband and caretaker of his family.  With Mary, he contributed to raising Jesus in a loving family.

This saintly man is a wonderful role model for us today, as we, too, must rely on grace and wisdom to do the best we can for our family, giving our children the courage to respond to God’s call no matter when it comes or what it looks like.

Janet Cassidy
janetcassidy.blogspot.com
janetcassidy.blubrry.net (podcasts)