An
episode of Chris Stefanick's show (Real Life Catholic) came into my
inbox. It was a discussion that centered on forgiveness. As I sat
listening to it, at first I couldn't think of anyone that I needed to
forgive, but as the show went on, I began to relate to it.
They talked about being treated unfairly by a boss or coworker, as well as forgiveness of those who have hurt you deeply.
For
instance, one of his guests talked about living in the community where
the Columbine High School massacre took place in 1999, where twelve
students and a teacher were murdered by two 12th graders.
In
the conversation, the words of Jesus from the cross were brought
up--"Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)
"They know not what they do."
It
might help us to forgive if we meditate on these words of Jesus and
realize that people can act unkindly, or unjustly, and not even know
what they are doing. When someone hurts us intentionally, out of sheer
meanness, the need to work towards forgiveness is more obvious, but why
aren't we forgiving those who don't know what they are doing? Why do we
always assume their words or actions were meant to cause us harm?
To
imitate Christ and love and forgive as he did, is not easy. We all
know (hopefully) that forgiveness doesn't mean allowing someone to
continue to hurt you. As they mentioned in their conversation,
forgiveness is a work we do that allows us to become free, that allows
us to let go of the anger that eats away at us over time.
Sometimes,
people really do not know what they are doing when they act
irresponsibly or out of their own agenda or convictions. The driving
force in them may be their lack of wisdom, or it may come from their own
place of hurt.
Regardless,
once we meditate on the words of Jesus from the cross, we are brought
to a place that requires us to do the hard work that will lead us to
forgiveness, and that will bring about healing for us.
I
encourage you to look up Chris Stefanick's video on YouTube called "How
to Forgive--Struggling to Forgive, Finding Healing" (There are others,
but the one I watched was by this title.)
It will be well worth your time. You may even be surprised.
Janet Cassidy
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