Calculating Love

 

 

I can't remember where I came across this, but I thought it was good, so I turned it into a prayer, asking God to let me "have a love that is not calculated, but extravagant."

I find the idea of loving "extravagantly" both challenging and essential. When I think of extravagance, I think of "over the top." To me, extravagant love is exactly the kind of love Jesus showed us on the cross, which should continue to compel us toward holiness and goodness today.

To love in such a selfless way, freely, completely, unreservedly isn't particularly easy, but when you push away all calculations and allow such love to flow from you, there is nothing like it. It is pure freedom. It is the love we see in saints.

Calculated love isn't free at all. It causes us to hesitate before giving of ourselves. It measures the cost of personal sacrifice. It holds back. It is the opposite of extravagant love. It asks, should I help them? Do they deserve help when it looks like they are being wasteful? Calculated love has to check off the boxes before engaging.

When we pray, we often have a long list of prayer requests, for ourselves and for others, and that's fine, but what if we simply asked God to help us love extravagantly?

What if our prayer is for God to help us help others by recognizing the needs of those around us and pouring ourselves into them? What if our extravagant love is overflowing in kindness in the little things of daily life? What if it is holding back on criticism and being judgy, and letting our first response be to love?

Test it out today. When you freely love and lose the calculation, you will be moving into real discipleship. Ask God to show you the way to do this. We really need to wrap our mind around this because it is how we love each other with a pure, extravagant love.

Janet Cassidy

janetcassidy.com

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